How do you become more assertive and easily say no? How do you actually tell someone no or get out of something you already said yes to.
Maybe you want to back out of a commitment you agreed to. Maybe you volunteered for something but don’t want to do it anymore.
If you are human and breathing, this probably sounds familiar. You felt giving or pressured in the moment, and later, you think to yourself, I don’t really want to do that.
And now your mind is spinning and anxiety and overwhelm have taken over.
Don’t spend the night staring at the ceiling worrying about it and follow these simple steps.
How to become more assertive and tell someone no
Maybe you are overcommitted.
How do you say no to going out?
Maybe the thought of disappointing others scares you. But did you ever think why that might be the case?
Maybe you are a people pleaser. Do you value your self-worth in how liked or praised you are?
Could it be that you avoid confrontation.
But the truth is, it is not selfish to honor those feelings.
As Glennon Doyle always says, “when faced with the decision to disappoint yourself or someone else, you should always choose you.”
Don’t waver into a white lie
Be honest. Don’t lie. Because they will see right through it, even if they don’t tell you they do.
You know those excuse givers. Oh I need to wash my hair Tuesday night.
As soon as they say it, you are already saying in your head…..excuses excuses.
The best remedy, honestly.
You know Suzie, I am so burnt out and really needing some R&R right now.
Or maybe you have that person that always thinks their time is more valuable.
Or that person whose answer is always – that time doesn’t work for me. I am busy.
Newsflash – we are all busy. But it is who you make the time for that shows who is a priority to you.
Saying no is honoring your time
Saying no is ultimately honoring your time.
Your time is your most valuable asset.
Maybe that person looking to make plans with you or asked you for help has not earned your time.
Maybe you are always the one helping and it’s not a reciprocal relationship.
Or you hate being around this person and it stresses you out.
Is there a goal you are looking to achieve.
Maybe you never get time to yourself and want to stay in your pajamas and just watch a movie.
Maybe you just don’t feel like being “on” or talking that night.
Or like many of us, maybe you are overcommitted with the wrong things.
Learning how to become assertive and saying no when you get that gut intuition is honoring your feelings within that moment.
And if you are caught off guard, say “you know what let me think about it and get back to you.”
Or you can say, “let me check my schedule and get back to you” to give you some time to think it through or bravely have the courage to say no.
What is a white lie you may have told to get out of a commitment? As always the best conversations happen in the comments below so leave one now.
And while you are there make sure you hop on our email list and become a Dr. C Insider below. You will get exclusive insights and content from me that I only share with my Dr. C Insiders.