Do you dread holiday gatherings? Or maybe you wake up in the morning wondering what today’s family drama will be. How do you deal with family drama and toxic relatives?
Here are tips to know if your family drama is toxic and how to overcome it.
How to know if your family drama is toxic?
A toxic family is one that does not respect your boundaries. They create unhealthy family situations.
Toxic family members can build stressful interpersonal relationships and cause mental and emotional distress.
It is normal to feel insecure when you are surrounded by a toxic family. You may have even grown up not knowing it was toxic, as many people do, or know how to deal with family drama or a toxic family.
Maybe you dreaded family gatherings or are triggered by the unhealthy environment.
Maybe they say everything is your fault and are unwilling to look at faults within themselves.
You are not alone.
How to deal with family drama
First and foremost, you deserve to feel safe, so if that means cutting off family members from your life, I am here giving you permission to put yourself first.
If you are drained every time you are around them, whether that be emotionally or physically, it is ok to cut them off or limit your time with them.
Keeping your distance from toxic family to protect yourself is not something you should feel bad about, as they are creating the toxic environment, not you.
Maybe they think you are crazy.
Maybe they think they are doing nothing wrong.
In fact, a toxic parent may find ways to change the situation so that you are allegedly causing them physical and emotional distress.
Your emotions don’t lie. Honor them and be true to them, even if that means setting boundaries you never set before.
You are not your environment – let the baggage go
Due to being people-pleasers, many times we want to fix the problem. We want them to see our side, acknowledge their wrong, the pain or see things differently.
But here is the truth.
You cannot force someone, even if you explain it 1,000 different ways, to see things differently.
They will either be willing to see things differently or they won’t.
They will either recognize the role they played or they will always be the victim.
Don’t carry the baggage. Let it go.
Understand that they are in their own way and unable to see things differently, even if they are the source of the family drama.
They are unable to see or acknowledge their mistakes, and you may never get the apology or recognition you always wanted.
But that is ok, because forgiveness is not about excusing the behavior, but it is about freeing yourself from the burden it holds on your heart.
It is about no longer being tethered to that approval or acknowledgment.
It is about healing your own wounds and not worrying about fixing theirs.
It is about making you whole regardless of the environment that surrounds you and building the life and family and relationships and friendships that you always wanted for yourself.
Learn the lessons.
Heal the hurt.
Spread the love.
What are your biggest challenges when it comes to family drama? As always the best conversations happen in the comments below so leave one now.
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