As new parents, you may not know how to win in your relationship after a baby comes into this world, and maybe at times, it is the last thought on your mind.
Maybe you are new parents and find yourself bickering at every opportunity about all the little things.
How many diapers did you change?
I was up all night. How many hours did you sleep?
I haven’t showered yet and you had adult conversation all day, while I have been pooped on three times.
Dinner? What is that? LOL
Here is how to win in your relationship after having a baby and tackle that resentment that might be creeping in.
Ditch the scorecard
Stop keeping score.
Having a tally of who did what is only going to grow into more resentment.
Should the responsibilities be shared? 100%.
Do you need to keep a list of who did what? Absolutely not.
If it was ever more important to lock arms and really define teamwork, it is now.
It means maybe compensating for their weaknesses where you are strong and allowing them to do the same for you.
Not everyone on a team is great at every position.
Some thrive in certain skills while others are better at different ones.
Parenthood is no different.
The ultimate goal in winning in your relationships after having a baby is to help each other out.
What that looks like specifically is unique to you and your family.
There is no one fits all approach.
There is no space for mom or dad shaming.
It is what works for you, as a couple, for your family.
Sometimes there can be strong emotions pent up and left unsaid.
Maybe they are struggling with this new role of parenthood.
Maybe they are petrified of making the wrong choice.
Maybe they do not know how to be a good parent because that is something that was lacking within their own lives.
Maybe they are anxious about the future and the responsibility that brings.
In relationships, and especially after having a baby, sometimes we can forget to listen because we are so overwhelmed with this new phase of life.
As new parents, it is so common to go through a range of emotions.
Maybe you mourn your old life.
Maybe you wonder if you have what it takes.
Having those thoughts doesn’t make you a bad parent.
But if you suffer in silence instead of being vulnerable with your partner, then you are robbing yourself of some honest conversations that could lead to some pivotal breakthroughs.
Being vulnerable takes bravery.
But it is through these brave conversations that we can have the biggest breakthroughs.
You may see things come to light you never even thought to be true.
You may be able to look at your own actions differently and take accountability for your part.
Whether or not you agree, or agree to disagree is not the point.
It is the ability to be vulnerable.
It is the skill of sitting down and having the hard conversations together, of which there will be many more.
It is sitting in your truth, both individually, and as a couple.
It is being the best version of yourself, so you can be the best partner in your relationship and role model for your family.
Ask for what you need
How to win in your relationships after a baby really requires communicating at the most basic of levels.
Don’t assume they know what you need. Ask for it.
Maybe it is to sleep in while they watch the kids.
Maybe it is a day for you.
Maybe it is a purpose-driven venture.
Maybe it is being heard and validated and loved.
In the chaos of kids, it can be exhausting, and common to just collapse at the end of the day.
Find out what your partner’s love language is and give it to them.
You can take a quiz here.
It could be an affectionate snuggle to remind yourself that you are in this together no matter how exhausted it all feels.
Maybe it’s making dessert together with a glass of wine after the kids go to bed, just because.
It is those small pockets of moments that fuel the heartbeat of a relationship.
It can be easy to give up.
It is easy to say my relationship will never be that way.
It takes work.
It takes patience.
It is worth every step and reaps all the rewards.
What are your biggest relationship struggles? As always the best conversations happen in the comments below so leave one now so I can cheer for you.
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