What is holding you back from being the person you want to be?

What are you always running away from? What constantly stresses you out?

That very thing, that trigger, is what is holding you back from being the person you want to be.

Are you avoiding facing the truth?

Are you overwhelmed by the pressures of life?

Are you avoiding having that difficult conversation after a fight?

Are you afraid of change?

Are you afraid of failure?

Are you afraid of rejection?

Do you need help finding your voice?

Do you find your worth and validation from others?

Whatever triggers you, whatever externally validates you, is what you are searching for externally, when you should be searching for validation and answers within.

Are you avoiding facing the truth?

What is it that you fear most? Is it the emotion tied to that truth?

Is it feeling vulnerable? Is it showing that you are not perfect? 

Avoiding facing the truth is holding you back from becoming the person you want to be.

Owning your truth, taking responsibility and accountability for your truth, and allowing yourself to feel and be human, rather than numbing yourself, is ultimately what is going to relieve you of the fear of facing it.

Speak your truth, honor It, and have the courage to face it head on.

Are you overwhelmed by the pressures of life?

Debt?

Kids driving you crazy?

Got an unfulfilling job?

Have big dreams and goals but don’t know how to get there?

That never ending wheel of worry is what consumes you.

That need to know and control everything.

Let go of the control.

The only thing, and I mean the only thing, you can control, is your reaction to things.

Find perspective in those hard moments, appreciate what is, not what lacks, and take small steps towards the goals that matter most to you.

Are you avoiding having that difficult conversation after a fight?

Maybe you just had a blowout argument with a spouse, partner, friend, relative, or even stranger walking down the block.

First, stop for a moment and think about, what triggered you.

What specifically in that moment set you off.

Then ask yourself why. And ask yourself why again, and again. And again. And yet again.

You will eventually get to the root of the issue.

Could it be you wanted your voice to be heard.

Could it be that your defense mechanisms were in high alert because you felt hurt or were afraid to be vulnerable?

Could you not deal with criticism because it hurts your self-worth?

When we look within, we find all the answers for what shows on the outside.

Maybe we were at fault. Maybe they were too. Maybe it had nothing to do with them.

Maybe you are reacting instead of having the courage to share your true feelings.

You cannot criticize someone who does not know how you feel

It has nothing to do with their response, and everything to do with your courage to dig deep to discover the root of the emotion, find your voice, stand in your power, and own it.

Are you afraid of change?

Maybe you are a very structured person and every little change sets you off, makes you uncomfortable.

Ask yourself, why are you trying to control all these aspects?

Is it because you feel if you don’t do so, your life will be out of place or out of control?

Is it because your life feels so out of control, that you feel the need to control everything else?

Where does that need for control stem from?

The more you dig, the more you will realize that it stems from something deeper.

Can structure be good? Sure. It is disciplined action.

Can it help you achieve your goals? You bet, because it works you towards them consistently.

Should it rule your life? Absolutely not.

Life will always have unexpected turns, and it is learning to bend with those moments, that will still keep you working towards your goals, but will also provide you the ability to maneuver and pivot when you need to.

Are you afraid of failure?

Who is it that you feel you are disappointing? Is it your family? Yourself?

Maybe your worth is tied to your productivity or accomplishments.

Maybe that fear of failure is an external validation of an internal feeling.

Where does that fear of failure stem from?

The fear of failure is what is holding you back from becoming the person you want to be and the goals you want to achieve.

The truth is, when you do not define yourself by those external factors, you know deep within that nomatter what you accomplish or don’t, you are not a failure.

You are a smart, gifted human being who is succeeding every single day just be being and loving your authentic self.

Are you afraid of rejection?

You can almost picture the movie scene. That person leaning in for a kiss only to get rejected, and the gut-wrenching moment they realize it.

Or maybe you were up for that promotion that passed you by.

There is no doubt that rejection hurts, but when you have a strong sense of self, you know that rejection is not a blow to your self-worth, but a lesson in trust.

Trust that inner knowing that this was not right time.

Trust that inner knowing that better things are ahead for you.

Trust that inner knowing that there is a lesson to be learned here in this moment.

Trust that the opportunity or relationship ahead will come at the exact time and moment you are ready.

There are lessons for you to learn in the process.

There is work for you to do from within to get there.

When you are ready, it will come.

What is meant for you will never pass you by.

Do you need help finding your voice?

Maybe you avoid confrontation. The thought of speaking up makes you sweat.

Who is it that silenced that voice and why do you allow them to still have that power over you?

Maybe it is a behavior you learned or an experience you had.

Maybe it is subconsciously taking you back to a moment you haven’t even connected to it yet.

But it stems from somewhere and continues to bind you.

Finding your voice can be scary, uncomfortable, and probably the last thing you ever want to confront.

But finding your voice is standing up to that inner bully still inside of you.

It is telling that bully, you no longer have power over me.

Finding your voice is giving you your power back.

It is standing in your strength, no matter how scared or vulnerable you are.

It is who you are at your core, and that voice is waiting to scream to the rooftops, I have arrived.

Do you define your worth and validation from others?

Maybe compliments and accolades send your self-worth into overdrive.

But the question I want to ask you is how do you feel without them?

Do you feel a lack? Less than?

Do you have to be the best?

Do you have to always be complimented to feel good?

That is your sign of where your self-worth is being bolstered from.

If you feel the same way about yourself without the compliments, the accolades, and pats on the back, then you have an inner confidence and knowing from within, but as long as you are looking for external validation, you will always be searching for your self-worth in others.

Takeaway

These are fears we all ultimately face. Not one person in the entire planet doesn’t have a fear.

If they tell you otherwise, they aren’t being honest and vulnerable with themselves.

Being stuck in these fears ultimately holds you back from becoming the person you want to be.

But it is when we can objectively look at them, be self-aware, and have the courage to face them, that we can start breaking the control these fears can hold over our lives.

We can then be all we are meant to be, authentically ourselves, and unapologetically YOU.

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