Let’s first clear the air and say, friends, moms or not, are so valuable to our growth and sanity.
But what oftentimes happens, when you have your first child, you are in desperate need to speak to someone who gets it, which is why mom friends are so important for your sanity, and here is specifically why.
First, they understand and are going through it too.
They are talking to you as their toddler shrieks over the phone throwing a tantrum for the 1,000 time because they want that other shaped pasta you didn’t make for lunch.
Or maybe they are destructively throwing every toy imaginable all over your house, and you are so sick and tired of picking up those Legos.
Or maybe it is the high chair that has a million splatters everywhere and you just cannot take the sight of one more crumb or spill on the floor.
Or maybe you would do anything, ANYTHING, to just get 8 hours of sleep.
The best part about this is you can say just about anything to “the right” mom friend and they won’t judge you.
Not the mom friend that mom shames you. No, no, she is not your friend.
The one that listens and makes you feel sane.
The one that tells you that you have everything it takes and are doing a great job.
She keeps it real with you and tells you the truth.
Second, motherhood is not easy.
I don’t care how many Instagram accounts you follow that show the perfect picture, nothing about it is perfect, and it is quite actually pretty messy. Just some of the many emotions you may experience is
Now that is not to say there is no joy, and happiness, and fulfillment and pride, and purpose in motherhood. There absolutely is, but I can tell you that nothing prepares you for these emotions that come with it and they can hit you like a ton of bricks.
I am very vulnerable about my journey with postpartum after having my twins, and I can say from personal experience, for me, the anxiety and worry quadrupled the moment I brought them home.
I was so worried about making a mistake.
What if they cried?
What if they cried at the same time?!?
Will they ever sleep?
Luckily, I found a sleep routine for the twins that worked great for us so eventually, they both slept 7 pm to 7 am with a 2-3 hour nap during the day, but at the time, I didn’t know if that would ever happen.
I was agonizing over every decision.
Plus being a new mom can be super isolating, because it is harder to get out of the house and you are probably overwhelmed with caring for your newborn, and maybe you are even feeling a bit insecure about managing a newborn in public alone.
That’s ok. You are human. You are allowed to feel these emotions and in fact, it shows that you care because you are already fiercely protecting that precious gift.
Third, just be you.
Dish it out with your mom friends and talk about it all.
The good, the bad, the ugly.
All of it…..
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.
It may give them the courage to be vulnerable too and know they are not alone.
Nobody has it all figured out.
Not me, not you, not anyone.
So give yourself some grace and empathy towards one another.
Lift each other up.
Because at the end of the day, we RISE together.